I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
