I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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