I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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