Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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