your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
