Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
