she was so not down for the gang bang
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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