Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
