My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
