she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
