Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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