it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
