I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
