If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
