I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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