Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
