dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
