false alarm. still invincible.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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