never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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