some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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