I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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