I didn't shave. On purpose
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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