We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
