Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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