It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just google imaged poop.
4 words: hood of his car
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
