he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
