she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
