hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
