I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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