I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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