You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
