I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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