i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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