I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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