Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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