420 ftw
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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