Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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