when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
