you have to choose: penises or morals?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
