I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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