I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
