the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
