The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize