While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
