FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
