Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
thus making me awesome and them whores
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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