Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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