So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
