Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
