just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize