I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
