I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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