i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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