the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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