dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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