I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
