I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
