he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
