the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
