Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
