Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
