Ketchup is God's man juice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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