i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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