i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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