as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
vagina is talking i cant
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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