Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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