whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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