Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
