so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
