"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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